Struggle of Bihar’s Transwomen

          

  

      India is a place where different types of culture and tradition exist. It is said that at every twenty kilometres food and language changes. You may come across people who are following age-old traditions. They are the orthodox. Though we are developed and define ourselves as modern. Still we have the mindset of orthodox society. Being a secular state, India has a cosmopolitan culture. We learnt in early childhood to live in peace and harmony with different religions. We are being taught to respect other religion and culture and others does the same. 

        We love to define ourselves as modern as the westerns do. The changes can be felt and experienced. Indian traditions of Hijra community which shows their existence in Mahabharata and Ramayana. During the Mughals they enjoyed their status in the court of the emperor. Slowly this community was marginalized and isolated from the mainstream of the society. We open the door of our houses for Hijra to get  the blessings of the new-born child. We offer them lots of gifts and money for the blessings. It's exceptional and for the rest of the time the door of the house is closed for Hijra. Society does the same. We are taught that they are not good people and never mingle with them. We never accepted them as part of our society. They are in exile from society.

Most people hesitate talking about the Hijra or in today’s term we could define it as transwoman. We don’t ever want children to know about them. We are scared that our child wouldn’t be a part of such a movement. The graph indicates the rise of transwomen in India. Is it so then the society is prepared for the next generation where kids would be more familiar to trans women as compared to the older generation. Still in the future it would be a social stigma and taboo for society which is being dominated by the straights. The majority are straight male and female. The community which is in sexual minority is finding space in the society. Morally they are locking horns with the majority for the survival in the society which exists.

         People have the misconception that trans women do not originate from India. It’s a culture which had been adopted from the western world and in the era of liberalization. It has been sown in India by the whites. Is it really so? No, certainly not. The community has its golden past. They had their journey in the Medieval period. They fought for their survival and existence. After the Mughals, the Hijra community deteriorated. They had to fight for their survival. Begging on the traffic signals and in trains was the source to earn some money. Jajmaan (Well wisher)  invited them during the baby showers of their new ones for the blessings of their new ones. As they advanced to the modern time, appetite for money grew for them. The Hijra community was involved in prostitution to fulfil the needs of today's life so that they can have their bread and butter. 

Prostitution of Hijra does raise the question as we are living in a society which has a dual face. One we see the people who are respected in their family and the society. They give their quality time in the family and have a strong bonding within the family. At night nearby railway stations, bus stands and at the highways the Hijra can be identified easily. It’s their compulsion. They work as a prostitute for a few hundred rupees so that they could have something for the couple of days to come. Who are those people as a Customer? Are they coming from the other side of the world or are they aliens? They are the part of society who does the advocacy for isolating the community from the mainstream. Then why are they coming in the dark? Simply to quench their thirst of sex. Is it so? Why are they not ready to accept it openly? They want to gain respect in society and at same time they are flexing muscles for their physical intimacy. Is the graph about LGBTQAI real or will it go up? There are hidden ones who are never going to confess for the sake of their reputation what others will say. 

Prostitution has been a compulsion for the community. The doors were shut from the government side so that they could get financial and social aid. The job opportunities were negligible because society never trusted them. Never felt that accountability should be given to them so that they could do something big in their life. They should stand on their own. They do need the support to be a part of the mainstream. Even the corporate houses never took them seriously. How could a roadmap be built for the development of the community? It was the big and toughest question for the government and the community.

The time was clicking by and members of the community were expanding day by day. New generation of trans women were finding their way to success in society. They were demanding their rights to be a part of society. No more illiteracy was among the community. They knew the law and they knew their rights. Only thing lagging behind was locking horns with the mainstream for their participation in society. The door of the honourable Supreme Court was knocked. The experience was sweet and sour. A mixed one reaction. One thing was there that everyone woke up. The community, The diplomats and bureaucrats, the judicial system of India, the central and state government. Government aid was provided and financial support was given. Corporate houses opened their doors for them. Even in government jobs reservation was implemented in central and state both. The saga of success for trans women has to be scripted in the coming future only. The outcome depended on the time.

      

         Bihar has its own structure when it comes to the community. The community was scattered into small groups and there was no one to raise the voice in favour of them. Mostly were dependent on begging or raising funds through the badhai. (traditional way of  requesting for money) There were some of them who never wanted to follow the old age tradition of Guru Chela ( Mother & daughter) system as it happens in Hijra Community. Few of them were educated and few of them were illiterate. Reshma Prasad rose to her potential and coordinated with government officials. That was the stepping stone in the development of the trans women community. Dostansafar was founded where community people could meet and a platform was created. Later on Garmia Grih was inaugurated where sexual minorities could get shelter and they could learn vocational training. In Patna there was a roof for trans women where they could explore themselves. No one has to leave their studies. Young generation of trans women was doing their best for higher education. Reshma became the pillar of the trans women movement in Patna. Without her story would be incomplete.

            Efforts of Reshma Parsad showed the change. The flower of success blossomed in the community. The jinx were broken. Community set examples by getting jobs in the Bank, Multi Nationals, Government sector and in police. Finally taboo and stigma was broken that community people are only for singing and dancing. Barriers were broken and the whole nation was witnessing what a sexual minority of Bihar has produced.

It is said that those who have strong will power for them sky's the limit. There were a lot of movements

in the community. It was the time of becoming an entrepreneur. A dream project of Reshma, she wanted  to set this milestone in the country. It was a big step and social acceptance was the important factor. It was a grand occasion and I was a part of it. I was handling the Pre opening operations of the restaurant.
            The chief guest was from the US Consulate. Restaurant was inaugurated by her. The opening of a trans women restaurant was the talk of the town and ANI took the bytes and it was on every news channel. The trans women community of Bihar was in Headlines of the National news channel. It was indeed a big leap for the community. 
        

    Still in Bihar where poverty is the concern. North Bihar is flooded by the rivers coming from Bihar. A place which wasn't able to progress like other states of India. Laborers are migrating to other states. The trans women awareness raises the question about the Bihar openness on Gender Identity issues. It’s in the blood of Bihar in the form of culture where launda naach ( Boys dress as female) is very common here and they are given respect. A land of Bikhari Thakur is ready to mingle with the community and Nitish regime has done its best to give them a platform to gender equality for the sexual minorities. It couldn’t be possible without the participation of common people with the community. Though after social discrimination was demolished by acceptance of common people. Now it’s a history that trans women  were ignored. We are stepping together holding hands. What could be more social upliftment than this. 

I was trapped in time zone of darkness,

You showed us the ray of hope and prosperity.

All of us were the sheep of the flock,

You guided all toward the road of success.

All of them climbed on the top,

Let the world know you were the base.

Dedicated To Reshma 

Hope there will be a revolution and more changes will come in favour of Trans women

Though the step is small but a big leap for the transwoman of Bihar. Sometimes dedications and results narrates the saga of success.  

 

Jai Bihar 

Half the life has passed

Half the life has passed,

Half is remaining.

Yesterday we were children,

The best days which we have learned.

What a day it was,

Happy and fearless childhood.

Smiling from the heart,

Worries were the least.

Half the life has passed,

Half is remaining.

Sun rises and sunsets,

We do turn grey.

Butterflies in the stomach,

We become puppets to earn money somehow.

Freedom has been snatched,

Why we became slaves.

Half the life has passed,

Half is remaining.

Living in illusion,

Thinking of a better future.

We spend money,

To buy happiness and joy.

Though we have millions of dollars,

Stilly people are unhappy.

Half the life has passed,

Half is remaining.

Lucky were those,

Who adieu early in their life.

Though my life was longer,

It was full of greed and jealousy.

Till now I was ruled by sin,

Now it’s turn to be ascetic.

Before we adieu,

Do something that makes everyone proud.

Do something fruitful,

Before we adieu to the world.

Half the life has passed,

Half is remaining.

Who says that miracle doesn't happen

            No one can predict about the life though you may have been born with silver spoon in the mouth but at sudden situation of life can change and you may find yourself on the road, begging for the food. It is hard to believe but its true at one point if one you are millionaire and mob moves around you and suddenly everything changes. You become bankrupt. You are lonely in the world and nobody around buzzing around you. You will hardly get any person who could understand your emotions and problem. You may find yourself missing in the darkness in this glittering world. Though you are in that world but hardly anybody will recognize you and no one will give attention towards you. That is the time when you may identify who is your friend and who is your foe.

            When you are lonely and isolated by the family, friends and well wisher, you will experience many things which you have never imagined in your life it is a bagful of mix reaction which comes to your mind some good thought and some bad thought.  At one point of time you will start reacting as a rebellion or you feel as if you are a monk. It is our soul who decided what to do and what no to do . To be very frank at this situation negative thought rules in our mind, Evil present inside you will shoot at its best. You have been soft target of this cruel word what should I do so that I could spill blood of my enemy on the ground. You will be boiling inside yourself with anger and frustration. Revenge will come from inside the soul without caring your life and family. That time you are depressed and very weak from inside you may think that you are helpless.

            We are human being we know how to celebrate our Joy when you achieve something, when you are promoted and even when you got engaged. You want to make the moment a memorable are in the like you booze with your friends in pub or you may opt to fine dining restaurant for a memorable dinner with your girlfriend. There are various ways to celebrate the joy but what about the time when you are in sorrow and pain. You may find yourself weeping from inside and broken. Nothing has left in the life everything seems as it washed out in tsunami. The life has become a desert and how to survive in that. You may be puzzled at that time. What to do? Where should I go? Do, I commit suicide. You doesn't have any clue for these things. 

            People are very brave who face these types of situation in the life. They are facing the reality of the life. Joy and happiness is illusion in the life. Life is like a bitter gourd and we have to accept the hard reality. Those who cross the toughest part of the life calm and peacefully with no sign of frustration and anger. They worked on a fundamental

(i)       Never let your body to rule the negativity

(ii)     Have faith on Almighty  

(i)                Never let your body to rule the negativity-

    When you are in worst situation in your life most of us break down, Just think about Nelson Mandela. He spent almost twenty eight years in prison. He was silent and quite. He was aware that time was not in his favour. He wanted for wait for the moment  boldly and quietly. He was silent as Himalayas, let the storm come I will face it. The day will come when storm will loose its grip and at that time I will rise. The dawn arrived and he was paid for his patience and sorrow. He became the president of South Africa. He was the person who passed the litmus test of the life. We should ask this question from ourselves. Do we have much strong will power, determination and patience to face the situation in our life in this way. If negatively would have ruled over Mandel's mind then he wouldn't have been hero of our time. He posses true character. He was filled with positive vibes. When he took his last breath. Whole world was emotional and burst into tears. 

(ii)             Have faith in Almighty 

The time when you start losing faith in almighty. When you are trapped in sorrow then we became nervous. We are not capable enough to handle these type of situation. The human tendency is just to get rid of the worst situation at any cost. At that time we forget almighty. We forget that almighty has send us on the earth. He will take care of us and Bible states the same. If almighty has trapped us on this situation then he will definitely take out. Why don't we put ourselves in front of god and pray to him to give the energy to face toughest part of our life.

           What triggers in mind that the god has disappeared from the earth. We should not forget that the power is still there in this modern world. Don't care about what others say and what they do just think and listen to your soul. What does it say. Follow the truth let pray to almighty to show the path so that we could cross the period of sorrow in positive vibes.   

            I am sure that miracle will happen in your life but for that you have to be patience with full of positive energy let me make it clear that miracle doesn't happen in a night just like Roam which was not built in a day. It takes the time. One things is sure that when we talk about miracle it test your character determination and will power. One of the most important factor is that you have to believe on almighty. Take out the sin from your soul. Don't be jealous or cruel, be kind to yourself, family and humanity. Then just wait and watch how miracle works for you.

            Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela and Anna Hazare are few people on my knowledge who posses magical power which can be define as miracle. It doesn't happened in a month or two. It took years of years. They were having faith on god. They were blessed with power called positive vibes. They never let themselves down at worst situation. They knew how to survive in the toughest part of their life. The time came when they were successful in their aim. The world had witnessed their miracle and at last they got the healing power to serve the humanity.

            If they can get the power of miracle so why don't we achieve this power. We have to follow the same footprint as they went. I am sure that miracle will happen one day of every life. Its  up to us to decide that our planet will be hell or heaven.  Both heaven and hell exist here. Its up to us what we make the earth, a heaven or hell. Yes miracle will happen but it will take time. Its not a hot food which would be served on fifteen mint. You will also agree on the point. If you follow the above said points then at last you will say miracle does happen in our life. I would like to conclude it by memorized day. "We shall over come same day the deep in my heart . I do believe. We shall over come same day."   

 

Toddler to teenager

Let's take a pause from life,

rewind ourselves in time which passed away.

We were toddlers,

bestie was our siblings.

Though we encounter each other,

as if we were wrestler of WWE.

Oh Jesus,

what the golden days were that had passed away.

No hook or crook we knew,

We were Innocent and noble.

Upbringing of our sibling was,

with love and affection by our parents.

Though we scold each other badly,

At last, we had lovely hug to each other before retiring.

Days passed, year passed and passed a decade,

Grew into teenager and the path of the life was separated.

Each of us had a different mission & vision of life.

Bondness of love and close knit,

Statred to melt like an iceberg.

Ashesh of love and affection,

were scattered in the database of memory.

Remains of childhood memories I am picking up,

from the debris of the past.

Which i could live it again,

Road of the life has no U turn.

 

SHILA & INDIAN CONNECTION

 

    

       A few years back I was listening to the SIA hit number NEVER GIVE UP. The songs sound interesting so I watched her video on YouTube. The song has an Indian connection which made it more interesting to me. When I googled it, it was based on a true story of an adopted child named Sheru. Asif's curiosity was running in my mind I couldn’t stop myself from watching the movie LION which has a connection with reality. For a while, the movie left me in pain which describes the anxiety of being separated from family. Years of years he was burning in the pain of being separated from his family. Still, when I remember this movie at one point in time I become speechless and emotional. 

     By profession, I am a Chef, in my free time I love to write and believe in the Lord Jesus which inspires me to do social work. There was a noble cause that inspired me to offer her help. I was requested to help her and I was willing. The numbers were exchanged and a telephone conversation started between two people from different countries with different cultures. Arranging cabs to accommodate her. lots of work was there before she landed in India. We made the arrangements just waiting for Shila to come to Muzaffarpur.

     I went to my friend's house where Shila was staying. She was in typical Indian attire and she could easily mingle with Indians because she had the same complexion as we were. Normally Europeans are very different from Asians but she wasn’t. One can easily judge her by the accent that she is European not of Indian origin. I was introduced to her as a Chef, writer & social worker.  

    Somehow we sat in the car and headed towards Chamara near Patahi airport.  There we were not able to find any clue. Then we moved towards the next destination, which was Chandwara. We tried to approach the ward commissioner but his mobile was not reachable and we interacted with another number who couldn't assist us. .I told them about the movie Loin and she told me that this movie motivated her to find her roots. 

      It was Saturday and we had planned to go to Chamraaharaa. Merely seventy-five kilometres away from Muzaffarpur. It was a hectic day. Shila suggested we call a person and we went to his house. They were two brothers who were delighted to see us. Finally, we reached the destination where we were supposed to be. It took three hours to reach. We were at the village around 10AM.

    We were offered tea first along with the snacks. We witnessed the hospitality of rural India where we were given a warm welcome and without having food we couldn’t go. Chapati, Rice, Dal, Two types of vegetables, and fitters (Pakoda) were offered for lunch which was beyond the capacity of me and Shila. I finished it but Shila couldn’t. As per Indian tradition, we both touched our feet and proceeded forward.  

      I was recollecting the memories when I was in prison. I still remember that day when my brother Arun held his hand and prayed to god that I should be out of prison. Is he an angel to me? He was the one who made me the writer. A blessing from god who gifted me with such a creative thing. I was acquitted by the court. As I was helpless in the same situation Shila is. The difference is the place. At that time Brother Arun guided me and this time I was. It was the almighty will that he wanted. We have to be ready for God's work. 

     We went to church & Garibnath temple where people worship Lord Shiva.  We planned to explore the places near Muzaffarpur. Shila and the river have a special connection. Her request was to view the river. We got out of the city and we were on National Highway ~ 57. We were near the bridge. We left the car and walked a little bit. We were on the banks of Gandak.

    Winter was approaching. We had to go to Jhamru urf Lalpur.  Again all three of us headed towards a new destination. Navigation was turned on and Google started showing the way. Out of the city single way we’re heading to the destination. It reminded me of a Bollywood movie. Where the car goes to the countryside with lots of greenery on the way. Ours was the Desi version. The roads were not as cosy as it is in Europe. 

    Emotions and feelings are the same across the world. Shila was fond of exploring ponds, canals and rivers. As we were about to reach the village.  Meanwhile, we saw the pond. The surroundings were well maintained. In front of the pond, there was a community building of Jhamura.  Meanwhile, when we approached the pond her emotions busted. Her eyes were full of tears. What was the cause of the tears?

     Plenty of questions were running through my mind. As a lady, she must be thinking why I was punished so heavily. I know she is very kind-hearted so she must be praying for her biological mother's well-being. From Europe to India she is on a business that is searching for her mother. There are millions of faces but who is her mother? God Knows.

    I could feel the same pain Shila suffered for many years. We both are from different wombs but the pain of being an orphan has united us. If you know your father and mother are no more it can give you sorrow but if you know they are abundant you will pinch your life. I could feel the pain of Shila. Sitting on the cemented floor near the lake we spend half an hour exchanging our thoughts. The bonding was becoming stronger and we accepted each other as siblings. I was glad to have a sister in my life. She too accepted me as a brother. What an emotional day. 

        

 On the last day, we went sightseeing in a rural area. We went to see the Bagmati River and a bridge which was built by heavy tankers. The iron sheet was laid on it. The sheet was thin and it had sharp edges in between the dangerous bridge. Somehow we had a walk and we crossed the river. We walked on the bank. As it was a bit hot we returned and went to see the temple. An old and famous temple. People used to come from very far away for worship. 

    We reached the hotel. A grand welcome was given to her.  It was lunchtime. She was my guest and I was the host so it was my turn to give her a treat. Biryani made by me was a special gift. She tasted the food and it was appreciated. We enjoyed the Lunch. Later on, she went to the residence. Finally, her tour comes to an end. It was the time to pack the luggage.

    She asked me to come to the Mother’s house where she had spent the night. After being abundant this was her first home. Missionaries of Charity sisters were getting ready for the Gospel. We feel blessed to be part of it. The priest came for the Gospel. Prayer was for Shila because she was going to Patna. Her tour of Muzaffarpur for this time has ended.  It was an emotional journey for her and me. Was it a miracle of lord Jesus that the pain she felt was bearing too. Has almighty asked me to reduce her pain of burden? The house was of Mother Saint Teresa. She was the daughter of sisters of Missionaries of Charity. Where I stand at that holy place that I even don’t know.  We had breakfast. The Diwali celebration went but without crackers having sweets. We had some photos for the memories. We were in the car and Sister Stalius was also with us.

     There was no work. I was on leave. I was missing Shila. She has asked me to see a documentary. I watched it on the big screen. Really it was eye-opening. People with dual faces are living in society. Whether one accepts it or not, it's a reality that girls are worshipped as goddesses Durga, Kali and Lakshmi are brought to death and at that time when they are born. 

    It was the first day of November, the beginning of a new month. Shila has to return back to Belgium. Even my family were keen to know about her. Why not? She is the daughter of this soil. In the morning she messaged me when I was coming to the hotel. I was ready and about to leave my house. Just I had a cup of tea. I was thinking about what I should give her as a gift. My wife and I thought a lot about this. Kurti, saree or something else. Lots of confusion. At last, we came to the conclusion we decided to gift her a book. I took a book of poetry compiled by many poets. Booked Rapido and within twenty minutes I reached my destination. 

    We had a good time. It was time to say goodbye to them. Booked the Cab and we were on the way to Airport. It was only two kilometres away. Within five minutes we were at the airport. She had to go for the security check. Hardly we get the time to talk to each other. We shook hands. This time we were not so formal. 

    In a couple of days, our bonding has been stronger and it was becoming stronger day by day. Friendship and relationships are just like wine. As it has matured for years the more flavour it gives us. So was ours. It will be tested over the period how dedicated and devoted I am to finding her root. Maybe Shila will be in Belgium. I will be her representative to build a roadmap to find her family. So we have to prepare accordingly. In India, a brother holds an important position in the family. I have asked Shila that before taking off the flight just remind me and after landing too. She did the same. We chatted throughout the day through WhatsApp. The flight to Munich was in the wee hours. Most of the Indians sleep. Around thirty past two, she was seated on a plane and the flight took off to Munich. In the morning I too had to board the train. Around four in the morning, I woke up, saw the message and wished her a happy and safe journey. We are indeed at different locations but we don’t have to NEVER GIVE UP for searching for a root. 

What Ahead?

   

           

शायर

उस खुदा को क्या बोलू,

जिसने मुझे ज़िन्दगी दिया।

हर किसी ने सोचा,

मस्त ज़िन्दगी जिये जा रहा रहा हुँ मैं।

सच्चाई तो ये है,

ज़िन्दगी के उत्तार चढाव को,

कोरे कागज़ में सिये जा रहा हु मैं।

लोग सोचते है,

शायर भी ज़िन्दगी के किस्से,

क्या मस्त हो कर सुनाये जा रहा है।

ठहाके लगा लेते है या पल भर में रो लेते है,

और फिर अपनी दुनिया में लौट जाते है।

पर एक माँ का दर्द, गरीबी की पीड़ा,

समाज का तरिस्कार या अमीर गरीब का फासला,

शायद कोई श्रोता भी समझ लेता।

मुझे वाह वाही आपकी नही चाहियें,

मेरी शायरी तब सार्थक हो जाये,

जब श्रोता पढ़ के,

ज़रा सा एक शायर के पीड़ा समझ जाएं।

ज़रा एक शायर के निगाहों से,

इस दुनिया को भांप जाये।

नही तो मजे लेकर तो,

शायरी सब पढ़ते है।

कुछ पढ़ते पढ़ते सुकून के नींद में लीन हो जाते है,

तो कुछ पन्ना खत्म करने की होड़ में लग जाते है।

मुद्दा कही न कही रद्दी में दम तोड़ देता है,

को कही ठोंगा बन कर अपना कुर्बानी दे डालता है।

शायर का आवाज़,

कागज़ तक में ही दम तोड़ देता है।

शायद आपका इस से सरोकार न हो,

क्योकि इसमें कविता में प्यार का अफसाना नहीं है।

1

हम तो कवि है

हम तो कवि है जनाब,
अपने में ही दुनिया में व्यस्त है।
दुनिया से क्या लेना देना,
हम तो खुद में ही निराले इंसान है।
न तो सोने की सुध है,
ना ही खाने की।
बस एक नशा है,
शब्दो को वाक्यो मे पिरोना मोती की तरह।
कोई कहता पागल,
तो कोई कहता है मतवाला।
क्या करे हम,
खुदा ने हमें कुछ अलग ही हुनर से है नवाजा।

लोगो को बस मैं देखता हूं,
कुछ मतलबी तो कुछ फरेबी,
कुछ दरियादिली दिखाते है,
तो कुछ दूसरे का निवाला छीन लेने का गुण रखते है।
कवि हूँ, चुप चाप देखता रहता हूँ।
कुछ बोल तो नही सकता,
पर कलम से तहलका मचाने का माद्दा रखता हूं।
बाजू में नही,
कलम के जरिये मार करता हूँ।

ये कवि की ही आँखे है,
जो गरीबी को देखती है।
उसका बयां कोरे पन्नों पे करते है।
गजब का कौशल है हम में,
जो दुख तो देख उस में जी कर देखता है।
भावना में बह कर हसता रोता हुआ।
क्या करूँ कवि जो हूँ।